In the third age of man, when darkness gathered and hope seemed lost, a great wizard returned to feed the Fellowship of the Ring. His name was Colonel Sanders The White, keeper of Middle Earth’s most previous eleven herbs and spices.
(Storyboard frames coming soon.)
THE HOBBITS’ RESCUE
Two hobbits near mount doom lay on a rock island floating in a river of lava. Shire music plays as they realize these are indeed their final moments.
Sam turns to an almost lifeless Frodo, nibbling on the last chicken wing from his bucket of KFC.
SAM: Do you remember Kentucky, Mr. Frodo?
SAM: It’ll be spring soon. And the wheat fields will be ready for biscuits. And the hens will be clucking in their coops…and the farmers be sowing the first summer taters while eating the Colonel’s famous chicken? Do you remember the taste of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
FRODO: No, Sam. I can’t recall the taste of food, or…flavor!
Sam slowly extends his greasy fingers into Frodo’s mouth. Frodo savors Sam's chubby fingers like it’s the last good thing he’ll ever taste.
Sam lies next to his dear friend as they close their eyes, embrace, and prepare to meet their end. Fade to black.
We reopen on a super wide shot where the hobbits lay. Molten rocks fly in the background. Toward the horizon dark clouds part, revealing a large ray of light. Three large birds approach. One of them crows.
These are not Tolkien' s eagles. These are giant flying chickens. Riding and leading the flock is Gandalf Colonel Sanders The White. The birds feet scoop up the hobbits.
Frodo lies semi conscious in the safety of the bird's claws as he stares up and drools, imagining it to be a gigantic piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
ENDCARD:
Hard cut to a table in the shire set with a hot bucket of KFC, biscuits, mac & cheese, mashed potatoes—the whole buffet.
SUBTITLES:
It’s finger lickin’ good